Adoption gives you control over a difficult situation, and the right to choose your baby's future
Adoption can help you fulfill the dreams you have for your child. You have the right to interview potential families, research backgrounds, and place your baby in the environment that will give him or her the best chance to flourish and live a well-rounded, stable life in a two-parent home.
Birth parents work together with adoptive parents to make a plan that is wholly focused on the best interest and well-being of the child.
In the process, adoption forms a bond between birth parents, adoptive parents and the child. Whether a birth mother maintains contact with her child in an open adoption, or chooses to maintain her privacy through a closed adoption, every step in the process is meant to give you control over deciding what is best for your baby.
Adoption also gives you a chance to re-evaluate and prioritize your life, in the middle of a time when your decisions will have a profound effect on both the lives of you and your family, as well as on the lives of the adoptive the family.
And, the professionals involved in adoption can also help with a birth mother's other necessities such as pregnancy help, housing assistance, support groups and counseling during your pregnancy, placement and the time after the adoption.
There is no doubt that the choice to place your child in adoption is a selfless decision that puts the needs of the child ahead of your own. In return for that act of heroic love, adoption offers significant benefits:
A stable, two-parent family where your child may have the best chance at a happy and fulfilling life
Although many single-parent families work extremely hard to give their children the best home possible, statistically, these children miss out on the benefits of a two-parent home. Children raised in a single-parent home, without a father, are:
- five times more likely to grow up in poverty.
- three to four times more likely to commit suicide.
- two to three times more likely to abuse drugs.
Tragically, it has been found that high percentages of people doing time in prison have come from fatherless homes. As many as seventy percent of prison inmates grew up without a father. And studies have also shown that girls without a father in the home are more likely to become sexually active at a young age and get pregnant before marriage.
A child that grows up in a two-parent home will have a better chance of forming healthy long-term relationships of their own later on in life, something that all of us desire to have in our lives.
A chance to "start again" with your own life
Most women who place for adoption will go on to finish school and have careers and families of their own.
"I finished my degree – one of the best things I did! I took a month off and then got right back into school, which is what I was supposed to be doing before I got pregnant. It was a real life-saver for me!" Chantal, Age 30
Many women who have been properly counseled through the grieving process after adoption will come to a place not only of acceptance, but of real joy and happiness at the prospect of their child living with a couple who can properly provide the stability that her child deserves.
A woman writing to her counselor expressed the following: "I took out my photos and my video of her and spoke with her on the phone. But this year, instead of crying, I smiled. Not because I didn't want to feel pain, but simply for the fact that there was really none left... I am simply, truly happy for the little girl in my life."
Another woman writes: "I have infinite joy when I make eye contact with my daughter, no matter where or when or in what context. I remember looking into her eyes the day that she was born: she didn't even know what she was looking at, but I never, ever felt joy like that. When I look at her now, I know she knows who she is looking at." Emily, Age 25
In order to understand adoption, it is helpful to know what adoption is NOT. Let's examine the misconceptions about adoption and try to clarify them with the most up-to-date information on the issue. When a team of researchers asked a select group of women what they thought about adoption, they found some common misperceptions about adoption
The decision you make with regard to your unwanted or untimely pregnancy could be the biggest decision of your life. Whatever you do, whether you parent, abort or adopt, this decision will stay with you like no other.
The decision to adopt can raise many other questions. Here are just a few that professional counselors working with birth mothers have experienced.